If you read my last story, you may think I have a fetish about Night Buckets. Maybe the act of emptying ours every morning has indeed given me one; however, I did feel I had to write a poem about it. With apologies.
You who have travelled extensively
And find in the morning your bucket, its awash with pee
Will know there’s only one way of emptying it -
Furtively
Open the door a fraction of an inch
Reaching your dump point unseen, it seems such a cinch
All’s clear so you go for it –
Ultimately
With bucket in hand you go for your life
Emptying it where it will do most good, shouldn’t cause much strife
It’s very full so you handle it –
Carefully
Unfortunately life is never that easy
If you are one who becomes embarrassed, like me you will be quite queasy
When SHE looks at your bucket and smiles at it –
Knowingly
SHE is the lady who lives next door
Or somewhere else, but she will appear for sure
Smiling and ready to go for it –
Impatiently
IT is a yarn on the beauty of the day
Or something just as inane, but she'll have her say
All you can do is listen to it –
Noiselessly
Mindless chatter is not your way
You’re happy going about your business, day after day
But she gives you no joy going for it –
Gregariously
On and on she continues to natter
The shame of your predicament, makes your teeth start to chatter
It’s the bucket and she’s attracted to it –
Basically
You wonder if this is as bad as it gets
If she will keep talking, talking ‘til the sun it sets
The bucket you need to empty it –
Urgently
In frustration you start to walk away
Ha ha ha, you can’t be that lucky, she hasn’t yet had her say
How do you get away from it –
Charitably
You’ve been polite and even rude
You decide there has to be another way, and start to brood
Maybe you can do it –
Kinkily
You smile and then you start to hiss
You tell her if you don’t get away, then this bucket half full of piss
Around the place you’ll start emptying it –
Entirely
She huffs and puffs then walks away
But you know your chick magnet, 'twill will bring her back another day
For she is drawn to it –
Totally
Don't know if you got it but there is a message in my madness!!!